sunspots
by paired discontinuity
Summary: [Iridescent Battlefields] Even he has his self-doubt moments.


**A/N:** _New series to dip our fingers in to! This fic's set in the arc that's equivalent to FRLG - with our special touches, of course. Also written for the Sinnoh League Challenge, Route 201 (part 1) task - write about doubt._

* * *

 **sunspots**

The storm that had been raging overhead only hours before was gone now, faded into wisps of clouds that swam past the moon. Yagami Taichi paid them no attention, cradling the small Pikachu in his arms. He almost regretted not evolving his good friend now. The added defensive strength may not have helped much, but… it would have looked better than this limp, tiny… mouse. The terminology had never made more sense until now.

He sat at the rock, thinking of his determined friends, of their exhaustion and resolve… and all he could imagine was a wave of psychic power striking his gut, throwing them all down and piercing wings and-

Taichi stopped, feeling the bile in his throat and recalling it, putting it to better use. Why was he even here, anyway? What could he save? Nene's parents had slipped out from under her fingers like sand in an hourglass and maybe their time as heroes had run out too. Hadn't he been a block of ice while his friends fought for their lives, while good-hearted little Taiki had taken Pika under his wing along with his own burdens and never thought once it was too much. Taiki's boundless optimism… Taichi didn't have that. Despair clung to him and it was too heavy a weight, and once the ocean waves wouldn't wash off his back.

The island's doors were shut, and the shutters tight. There were no laughing children and pokemon in the sand, no happy and curious heads poking around him, pleading for him to showcase his pokemon, to let them pat and play. Pika might shock them if they pinched his cheeks again, but they could only do that if they ventured out of their doors. And they wouldn't do that. The adults might, though. With pick axes and powerhouse pokemon of their own. Team Rocket had done a good job in making them unwelcome here, and Deoxys had done the rest.

 _Would_ do the rest. Finish them - and then what? Leave the island alone, probably, because it was them it chased. They brought the wave of destruction - and who knew, maybe Mewtwo wouldn't have caused such a scene without them as well, maybe the legendary birds wouldn't have been a necessity, maybe the beasts of Johto wouldn't have needed to leave exile and ally themselves with humans once more…

Well, that was kind of crazy, wasn't it? If it wasn't for them, this would never have ended to begin with right? They had only asked for all of that help because other people were putting the world in danger and they wanted to stop it. They, the Pokedex Holders, wanted to help and save the world from whatever perils had arrived.

And they couldn't, in the end. Not without a lot of help, not without a lot of destruction and suffering. Was this really a fight they needed to have? Or were they just kidding themselves? If they gave themselves up, would that change anything either?

All of these thoughts ran through his head, running and sprinting and falling, laughing at him as they fell. He didn't know what was right or wrong anymore. All he knew was that his reckless fighting had hurt and killed almost every one of his pals. That was the opposite of what he had taught his friends, his juniors. That was the opposite of what he should have been doing.

Everyone but him had paid the price.

Maybe his turn had come at last.

"Chuu!" Pika raised his head and scowled at him. He knew what he was thinking, and didn't like it.

But Deoxys had taken a thunder to the chest and it hadn't done much good.

"You going to sit there moping some more, or can we talk now?"

Taichi looked over his shoulder. There was Kiriha, hands crossed and looking grumpy. Or perhaps that was an understatement. They'd lost contact with his adopted father - the man who'd fished him out of the sea of the harsh world and raised him with more love and care than he could spare. And Nene's parents swallowed into a void, parents neither she nor Yuu had seen for so long… He could be afforded more than simply grumpiness, but that and annoyance were all that marred his face now.

"I'm sorry," Taichi apologised, adjusting his seat so he could see the other properly.

Kiriha rolled his eyes. "What happened to you coming up with some hair-brained plan that might actually work if you were a part of it?"

Taichi would have laughed if he could have. He almost did, but it came out more like a croak instead. "Uhm…"

Kiriha sighed. "Yeah. I thought so. Come on. Let's get moving. We have things to do." His blue eyes almost softened at the sight of Taichi's arms cradling Pika. "Unless we can get to the mainland or you've got Taiki on speed dial, put him back in his Pokeball. He'll rest up while he can."

Taichi nodded, reluctance all over his face. Kiriha likely understood, because he waited, and watched. It was harder to be sure a Pokemon was alive while in its ball. Sometimes it was still because it was sleeping. Sometimes, it was for other reasons, and you wouldn't know until it was over. Taichi put him away quickly and followed Kiriha, eyes on the sand, hands in his pockets.

"Whatever plan you come up with," Kiriha said dryly. "None of it better involve suicidal jumps or something."

This got a smile. "Right. Those are your territory."


End file.
